Guaranteed Failure

Ade Tries Slam Poetry

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What? Why?

Me about to smash your expectations to smithereens and douse them in flammable disappointment *drops cigarette* WOOOSH!

( Photo by malcolm garret from Pexels )

Spoken word has become an exciting interest for me over the past few years. This is due to my recent friendships with writers of all types. I say recent, I mean within the past 4 years!

I have attended open mic nights, watched quite a few YouTube videos where people perform their pieces for the world to admire, and I’m also an avid listener of The Streets.

Until recently, I classed their songs as rap, but now I see them more as immersive storytelling pieces in the vein of spoken word, no matter how juvenile. “War of the Sexes” and “Fit But You Know It” are both great examples of the group having a laugh, but also creating a surreal perspective of everyday scenarios. The pieces themselves may seem absurd, but they always find a way to relate to the listener, at least in my opinion.

I have always been fascinated by those who are able to create poetry and feel as if they are blessed in some way. I’m talking about people who are able to evoke real emotion by stringing mere words together. Can you imagine such power?! That’s why people say the pen is mightier than the sword!

I enjoy writing – when I can – because I can’t always get the words in the right order on the first go. You could probably tell that if you just watch my latest video. I have no concept of punctuation in speech. In fact, I have no concept of speech, full stop. That’s part of the reason why it took so long to edit. Sorry.

Instead of talking like a muppet for half an hour, I decided to use this week’s post to showcase a trashy improv spoken word piece I came up with last month! If you hate it, that’s fine – just give me a bit of constructive criticism too. I would like to improve my creative writing skills, WITHOUT having to go to university again. *shudders*

Well, here it is: my non-masterpiece called “Mess”. Don’t take it seriously, or do. Whatever tickles your fancy…

“Mess” – Recorded and mildly edited using Audacity (14/02/2020)


Mess, mess everywhere,

Around me,

Inside my head.

Mess, mess everywhere, but no energy to clear it up.

I just live in squalor,

Not on purpose.

I don’t have much to my name,

Not even a dollar.

My savings – squandered,

Paying for a degree,

That I don’t even use now,

And I never liked,


Slam poetry – is this the thing for me?

I don’t think it is,

Of course, I’m doing this on the fly,

But I don’t believe,

That I should take away from talents that are undiscovered,

Of things that I’ve yet to try.

Mess, mess everywhere, will I ever have the strength to clear it up?

So that I can leave in a mess-free world,

And have a mess-free head,

To keep my chin up.


Cuss me out.


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By Ade

An aspiring creator in way too many areas, Ade loves to try something new, as long as it doesn't interfere with the balance of the universe too much. Trying to take each day as it comes, Ade edits videos for YouTube, occasionally records podcasts, and writes with strange mannerisms to entertain the world.