Post-Uni Lifestyle

Shut Up and Just Do It: The Fear of Being Creative

Sharing is caring:

Sometimes you have to just throw caution to the wind and give something a go!

Don’t let your dreams just be Scrabble tiles – make them a reality

Photo by Brett Jordan from Pexels

Throwback (21/08/21)

I mentioned in my anniversary video last month that I was going to start giving things a go, so I can continue to move forward – but now I feel stuck again.

We all knew this was coming – another post about how Ade can’t seem to bring themselves to do something that could make them happy but they refuse to make a change because it’s too scary.

Current me is really side-eyeing the version of me in that video. There was way more confidence and an assuredness that doesn’t even seem to be a realistic state for myself to exist in.

I’m jealous of myself? That’s a new one.


But maybe there is a way to feel confident, cast out doubt and start moving once again. What is it though?

Should I throw myself back into editing the video for SimpleThimbles that I filmed in late June? Maybe I should start streaming on Twitch once a week, no matter what? Or should I pick a video idea for YouTube or TikTok and just see it through to the end and not just quit?

I think the answer is do every single thing I mentioned above, preferably not at the same time, though.

All I have to do is take it one step at a time and stop thinking about expectations and outcomes that are outrageous and not likely to happen. I am not only overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I feel like I have to do, but also by the outcomes of every choice I make.


I feel as though doing something I want to do now, may negatively affect me in the future. I’m scared of applying for a role in the future and being turned down because a YouTube video I made didn’t align with the company’s values. This video could be completely harmless, but it just may not sit right with these potential employers.

On the other hand, the videos I make could be the key to my next job. I could be blocking my blessings and being complicit in my own misery and downfall. How poetic is that – I’m my own worst enemy.

I’m afraid of the consequences on either side, but a wise person and good friend of mine once said to me that’s it’s OK to feel the fear, but I should actually go ahead and do it anyway. It’s adapted from the famous quote “Feel the fear and do it anyway”, but the point still stands.


I should be fearful – making a change is going against the relative comfort of what my reality currently is. But I should take a chance to do something, because instead of a library of content true to my essence as a person and representative of my passions and interests, I’ll only be left with a very long list of regrets.

So I’m going to go to bed, and wake up tomorrow with a new attitude – an attitude of “fear it, but do it”. Even if it’s hard, scary, time-consuming, or requires a bit of extra learning – I should do it anyway.

I must also remember that things can only be done one at a time. I can achieve greatness in one day, but it depends on the frame of reference. In the future, all those little wins could culminate into a life that I would be proud and thankful to my past self for allowing me to have.

And all it takes is one small step.

Outcome (31/08/21)

The next day (22/08/21), I gave streaming another go and… it invigorated me! Like, any sense of fatigue that I have felt over the past few months left my body from just a couple hours of live gameplay! Maybe it was because I could finally say I ticked something off my to-do list. This phenomenon is only rare because that “stuck” feeling happens more often nowadays.

I also had the support of another good friend of mine who offered to moderate for me – which gave me even more of a confidence boost. I made a promise to stream again within a week, to try and stick to a schedule and keep feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

Unfortunately, I’m very accident-prone and proceeded to slip down the stairs a couple of days after this promise was declared. Nothing major happened, but my GP told me to avoid sitting down for a few days to take pressure off my bruised tailbone while it heals.

Obviously sitting at my desk to stream gameplay was out of the question, but maybe that was just a silly excuse I fabricated? I feel guilty, not only because I broke my promise to whoever was watching the stream, but because that promise was also to myself. I want to keep my dreams alive, but it feels like I had the plug pulled just because my socks hate keeping me upright.

Soon I will return to Twitch, but in the meantime, I will upload VODs from previous streams here.

Wait – streaming AND uploading YouTube videos?

Two birds with one stone.


Instagram | Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Sign up to my mailing list!

Sharing is caring:

By Ade

An aspiring creator in way too many areas, Ade loves to try something new, as long as it doesn't interfere with the balance of the universe too much. Trying to take each day as it comes, Ade edits videos for YouTube, occasionally records podcasts, and writes with strange mannerisms to entertain the world.